I'm so much funnier on the internet

I've been in such a funk lately! I have no inspiration, no motivation. Sometimes I have trouble paying attention long enough to get anything done. I read things and I play games but when it comes to expressing myself, I'm pretty much tapped out. There has been some stupid, childish things going on at school and somehow I ended up right on the receiving end of most of it. Simply for asking people to do something they said they would do.

Oh, side note. If you tell someone that you are going to do something (more than once), if you know you're not going to be able to at least be polite enough to be apologetic about it and for heaven's sake TELL THEM! A simple, "I'm sorry, something has come up and I can't make it" is fine. It is much better than telling them yes up until the last minute and then getting defensive about it.

I swear, women are so horrible to each other. When someone else is acting a donkey you say how you would never do that and you are grown, out of high school, too smart for that stuff. Then when it comes down to it you turn around and do the same damn things! SMH. It's ridiculous.

Onto other stuff. I won an eyeshadow trio from NYX. It's the first product I've ever owned from them. I haven't used it (remember that funk I mentioned?) but I did swatch the colors on my fingers and they look nice. I got TS02A "Honey Comb" which is basically browns. Light, dark, medium. I like my safe colors :) Don't get me wrong, I love my 120 palette and the 88 palette that I have but in the end I *know* I'll use browns.

Hopefully I'll be around with something worth hearing soon. I've recently begun seeing a therapist. I'm not sure how that's going to go but I'm willing to give it a shot if it will work. I didn't feel awkward talking to her on my first visit but I did almost start crying and I hate that. I'm so overly emotional lately it's got me all messed up.

It's 5am here (my insomnia is raging full force lately) and I know the baby will be up in about 3.5 hours so I need to go crawl into our (brand new! WOOT) bed and try to sleep a little bit. I'm going to try very hard to post some pictures of random stuff tomorrow or in the next few days. My oldest is having a tonsillectomy on Tuesday so if you stumble on this, wish us luck!

*edit to add pics*

I haven't been feeling well lately. Some medication issues have me pretty much out of it. I'm either asleep or awake but having to lay down because I'm feeling sick. Hopefully it will work itself out soon because there are things I want to post!

I recently got the Sleek & Shine Blow Dry Perfector by Garnier from BzzAgent and I want to try it out and show everyone how it works. It has a bit of a chemical smell though so I know I can't do it until I'm straightened out.

I also got my Sedona Lace 88 Matte Palette that I won from Katie Ngo in the mail the other day. I want to take lots of pictures and show it off but well, you get the picture by now.

Plus, a bottle of diCesare:HAIR Liqui-Finish Volumizing and Finishing spray that I won from HSN (@hsn_official on twitter).

Hopefully I'll be straightened out within the week and can take and upload the pictures and make some decent posts. For now I hope everyone is being good :) It's time for school to start back again so be careful in the mornings and afternoons.

I want to encourage everyone to please pay attention to the people around you. If you think you have a friend or family member who may be suffering from depression, bipolar disorder or some other mental illness, don't be afraid to try to talk to them. Sometimes, we're just scared to say anything. It can be hard to take that first step and ask for someone to help you and sometimes you don't even want to admit to yourself that something just isn't right. You don't know how much it can help and how much of a weight off of your shoulders it can be to have someone you can depend on, or talk to, or even just cry to.

I've been dealing with depression since I was a teenager. It all started right around the time I was supposed to be starting 9th grade. I was always a shy kid, preferring to be by myself with my books than in a crowd of people.

The year I turned 14 I met a boy who made it all worse. Long story short, it was an abusive relationship that ended in court. Ever since then I've been on and off of just about every medication for depression that we could afford.

The last 12 years have been a real roller coaster. Lately, I'm on the downside of the ride. I'm not even sure how to get back up. I've tried counseling but it takes so long to open up to someone, especially a stranger, that by the time I start actually feeling comfortable I'm at the point that I can't afford to go anymore.

Just wondering, how many of you deal with depression? How do you handle it? What gets you through those days (weeks, months) when you don't even want to crawl out of bed?

Personal whining. If you don't want to read, just skip over :)