How do you deal?

I've been dealing with depression since I was a teenager. It all started right around the time I was supposed to be starting 9th grade. I was always a shy kid, preferring to be by myself with my books than in a crowd of people.

The year I turned 14 I met a boy who made it all worse. Long story short, it was an abusive relationship that ended in court. Ever since then I've been on and off of just about every medication for depression that we could afford.

The last 12 years have been a real roller coaster. Lately, I'm on the downside of the ride. I'm not even sure how to get back up. I've tried counseling but it takes so long to open up to someone, especially a stranger, that by the time I start actually feeling comfortable I'm at the point that I can't afford to go anymore.

Just wondering, how many of you deal with depression? How do you handle it? What gets you through those days (weeks, months) when you don't even want to crawl out of bed?

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Sonja said...

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling so down. I've definitely been there. I used to take various medications; but they never really got to the source of the problem and could only help so much. These days I no longer try to rely on the medication and have weaned off all meds. I've found that a combination of therapy, meditation, good nutrition and exercise have been most helpful. I learned that sometimes you have to do the opposite of what you feel like. When I don't feel like getting out of bed, I drag my ass out and eat something healthy (junk food can actually make you feel worse) and do a few sit-ups or push-ups or go for a walk. I don't feel like it, but it helps immeasurably. Hope that helps and that you're feeling better. xo

Murphette said...

@Sonja I've tried the no medication route and it basically ended with me in a ball, crying and begging my mom to have me committed. She refused and took me to the doctor. They put me on another SSRI. Usually they work but I think I'm going to need a combination.
Part of the problem is I usually don't have insurance and the list of cheap generics isn't a long one. I've had good results with Welbutrin but even the generic version is almost $90 a month! I have insurance through a program my state has for low income people so hopefully they will cover the medication and possibly some therapy visits.

I definitely plan to add some exercise into the mix. My bf just finished a temp job that was second shift and now that he's going to be home at night I'm going to make him go walking with me. I hate going when it's just the baby and me (I'm a big scaredy cat) and I live on the second floor so I can't do too much in here.

Thanks for your comment. I think this is my first one ever! ha.

Sonja said...

I definitely wouldn't recommend getting off meds until you feel comfortable and have new coping mechanisms in place. Otherwise, that can definitely spell disaster.

Have you checked out Costco or Sam's for medications? I found Costco's membership price well worth it when I learned how much less expensive their prescription prices are. I got a membership just for that when I didn't have insurance.

That's great that you're going to add exercise into the mix. That is always very helpful in improving one's mood!